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“As far as I’m concerned, NVC does everything. It butters my bread, washes my car, and raises my children. Okay, maybe not. But in terms of how it’s changed my life, that’s not much of an exaggeration.
Before I heard of NVC, seven years ago, I was like many people: wanting to connect with people I loved, wanting to be my best self, and wanting more peace, happiness, chocolate and weight-loss in my life. I would speak with eloquent oratory, full of unassailable logic, teeming with self-righteousness and veiled judgments. I would wonder why my victim, er, listener, was not won over to my worldview of rightness and wrongness where I was always in the right. Or sometimes I was on the other end, listening intently and then blessing my loved ones with the brilliance of my advice and depth of my pity sprinkled down from above. In short, I was who George Bernard Shaw had in mind when he said, ‘The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.’
NVC has given me a helpful understanding of communication, effective tools to use, a healthier internal life, and a community of like-minded people. To say I’m happy I found NVC and the resources of NVC Santa Cruz would be an understatement. To say my family is happy I found NVC would be a laughable distortion. I don’t think I’m stretching it to say they would gladly empty their piggy banks and sell their little brother if that’s what it took to make sure I stay in my current version. My family prefers mom, sister, wife, and daughter 2.0. And so do I.”
-Kara Bowman

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“Everything was extraordinarily useful. Prior to my experience in this class I felt supremely dissatisfied with my career choice. I feel the skills I’ve learned here have resulted in helping me develop a new and better understanding of my professional environment. Specifically, learning about listening and developing the language to articulate my needs was most helpful.”
— UCSC employee


“Through integrating NVC into my being, I’ve grown tremendously. I’ve deepened my capacity to love and accept my whole and perfectly imperfect self—thereby allowing me to share myself with others with more ease, joy and acceptance.” -Participant, NVC Integration Program


“I feel better than I have in over nine years. I’m more relaxed; feel safer and very, very free to do what I want.”  -Participant in the NVC Integration Program

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I most enjoyed being competently and gracefully led through (my) confusion of a new way of thinking about human relationships; and being gently guided through my absorption of new ideas. Unexpectedly, I became hopefully inspired to address the seemingly intractable problems of de-alienating my older daughter and my only sibling.

– Bill T.

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“I now know how to communicate from the perspective of my deepest values and needs, not my hurt.”  -Class participant


“I’ve already applied new skills to daily personal life as well as at work.”
— Participant in workplace training

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“I use NVC principles and strategies in almost every aspect of my work as Campus Ombudsman at UCSC: mediation, meeting facilitation, one-to-one interviews, and group interventions. I’m sure there was life before NVC, but I can’t quite remember what it was!”
— Laurie McCann, Campus Ombudsman, University of California Santa Cruz (now retired)

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“The program helped me to stay true to myself and honor myself. The percolation of learning that I got from this program will spill over to my community and the world. I am once again hopeful for a better world.”   -Participant in the NVC Integration Program

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